In Worse Adversity than Before

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*sigh* I feel as perhaps every trouble is gaining up on me. Maybe that sign is best displayed by the constant absences in the blogs, or my dreams which I've thought would become so real at the end of Spring Break get postponed or just mutated to burden.

As you all know, I had constant headaches in October last yr till now, although there were already troubles before, since when I came to this western land more than two years before. Although this is no one's fault, but just a pile of circumstances and choices that people choose or made it happen, since then, what I thought was dead was reborn again. I admit I'm the kind of person who can't stand misunderstanding, but misunderstanding for SO LONG? It'd take more than just a simple story to tell my tale, overshadowed by the 3 M's: misunderstanding, miscommunication and misconception. Anyway, back to the headaches. As you know, I've seen plenty of doctors since, ranging from the simplest clinic GP to the most advanced hospital psychiatrist. Though they all tried their best to help, there was one which I feel upset even to think about it. Since I actually am a very well-sensed person, I won't even think about calling the psychiatrist at the Vancouver Children's Hospital rude names, because it does no good but cause worse trouble around here. But if I weren't that well-sensed, I'd actually express my frustration and pain by saying he betrayed me by not helping a single thing on my headaches or my bowel problems but instead went around and he sorta betrayed me and then said I needed to go to social programs, courses, day camps, and... I mean, does that cure pain in the head? I knew very well that me and the psychiatrist has had a misunderstanding, which is already very fatal, cuz my dad's mind is actually loaded with assumptions-turned-into-misconceptions-turned-into-a-very-bad-impression-about-me-which-creates-extreme-irony. And since the psychiatrist was influenced with my dad's words, it caused worse trouble, and most unfortunately of all, the trouble is all on me! Even now, my dad doesn't even know I'm typing a blog! THE WHOLE WHILE, HE THOUGHT I WAS PLAYING GAMES!!!!! THE WHOLE FREAKIN' WORLD IS ALREADY PLAYING GAMES WITH ME!!!

That, would be what I'd have typed, if I didn't have well-sense.

Anyway, after I came back from Singapore (which I had seen a Chinese doctor which FINALLY, yes FINALLY, helped me and I finally felt progress. He said it was the back and the neck, where the muscles are strained up due to tension and stress and pressure. During the short amount of time, he did massage therapy and gave me ground medicine, which did relief my bowel problems a lot.), I had started being "devoted" to Chinese medicine, as only progress lies in this sector. As advised by the social worker (which, and I see a lot of hope in it, I managed to agree with him that our family conflicts which has lasted for two unbearably long years...), I saw a psychologist, which I expressed all of what happened. Just when things are about to come to light, I've been informed of my 'inner child' (after several listening/drawing tests, which unfortunately are not that accurate as during the listening test, it was hard to capture the ringing sounds as ppl were walking by and chatting, and I didn't draw that precise in the latter.) was almost completely the opposite of me, and others which I listened attentively just in case.

Examples of irony in the household are: Showing lots of expression and enthuaism to ur mother about attending in youth day camps and yet still, she cried and said like... You need help... You need to cooperate.. I know this is not good, but... hey wait a mintue, I DID express entuaism!

Somehow, this sorta concludes what I experienced during the times where blog activity was not that much. I cannot even be involved in my online dreams even in the summer holidays. Who knows how am I gonna do it, now that summer is once again, trailing away? *shakes head and looks at the wind*